The Real World

So here I am on Day... 6 of my two week internship at Marcus Promotions. Though I am really only here to help my Uncle out and learn how to update the website, I'm finding myself already disliking things about certain jobs. Sitting at a desk for example. Not my favorite. Answering phones, also something I struggle at. However, updating a website? Boring but you wouldn't believe how fast I can copy and paste. It's a true talent.

I love the atmosphere here, of working in the theatre department. You forget what you're doing until you step into the theatres. On Friday, my Uncle and I went to the Milwaukee Ballet's "Live and Kicking." WHICH WAS AMAZING. The music of Ben Folds/William Shatner was truly exciting and really inspired me for next years choreography class. Not to mention the dancing was phenomenal. Wish I had started earlier!

But I enjoy working in this business but still wish I was getting to do the more artsy things. It's the one class that I enjoyed the MOST in grade school and it surprises me I didn't realize that sooner. It's the one thing that makes me happy and proud about what I've done. So I am really going to push that whatever it is I am doing, I am able to be creative.

That being said, I start at the Tribune on Wednesday... where I have to start all over again and learn my place. It's going to be frustrating, but I hope in the end it will be rewarding.

"Summertime and the livin' is easy" doesn't make much sense anymore.

My explanation.

Donald Miller is seriously a genius. He puts everything that I think and believe and somehow puts it into words. Not that I agree with everything he says, but honest to God I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts when I'm reading his books.

Miller explains believing in God and the craziness of it in a way that is exactly how i feel. He writes that, 

"The goofy thing about the Christian faith is that you believe in it and you don't at the same time. It isn't unlike having an imaginary friend. I believe in Jesus; I believe he is the Son of God, but every time I sit down to explain this to someone I feel like a palm reader, like somebody who works at the circus or a kid who is always making things up at a Star Trek convention who hasn't figured out the show isn't real."  -D. Miller, Searching for God Knows What

And it's so true! It's so weird, it's so unreal and it is one of the hardest things in the world to back up. It's either that A. I'm crazy or B. I like to use Christianity as a pillow for all the hard parts of my life. And it's neither of those things. It's a crazy truth that has clicked in my mind and my heart and is proving itself to me everyday.

I wish I could explain it, I wish I could share it. I don't talk about it because I think I'm right and you are wrong. I talk about it because it's so wonderful for me. It makes life that much more beautiful. It gives me joy that I wouldn't get from anywhere else, and I want others to enjoy that like I do.

It's hard to believe in. Sometimes I wish I didn't so I didn't constantly feel like I had to prove myself, so I didn't constantly feel compelled to tell people about it, or blog things like this. But I do because I love it and because it is the most interesting thing in my life. I am constantly learning things.

Life is beautiful and things happen not by chance. Life can be shitty, but there always seems to be a plus to everything that happens, and we always seem to grow by what happens. I'm getting the word "Hope" tattooed onto my foot on Tuesday as a reminder of this. (Not that I NEED the tattoo to help me remember, it's just something I will love seeing.) Hope is everywhere and hope makes me the person I am.